Internet Behemeth Rigs NCAA Round One

In urgent news, Yahoo! Inc. settled with the players and coaching staff of Illinois on a sum of $900,000 in an agreement to lose their first round game Thursday evening against Western Kentucky. The Silicon Valley corporation decided it could make more money running KFC banner ads if W. Kentucky remained in tournament play for a few more rounds. The settlement bears close resemblance to the site's $1,000,000 prize attached to creating an unblemished Yahoo fantasy bracket of 63 correctly picked games.

Late in the second half it is reported that a mobile message was sent from Yahoo! CEO Carol Bartz to Illinois head coach Weber which caused alarm among the Fighting Illini. The message, 'your team's money is all gone' induced the 5th rank team to claw back and drain their massive deficit to within one possession. With moments to go, Weber received another message from Bartz, "all GOOD. money's all GOOD. T9 sucks, my bad. now lose!".

W. Kentucky's upset will undoubtedly boost KFC sales, which now offers 10 great tastes starting at 99 cents.








(This post is completely ficticous, obviously)